Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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