There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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