i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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