I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
