Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
