Where are you?
In a non slutty way
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
