we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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