Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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