ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
