i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
