So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize