I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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