White coat. Heels.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
