i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
