OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he had hair everywhere except his balls
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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