i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
