Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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