Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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