i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
