He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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