try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
