oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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