I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
