What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize