Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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