If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
time to smoke my breakfast
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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