oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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