Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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