I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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