He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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