And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
