I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
