He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
