I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
