Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
