I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize