Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize