so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
