When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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