The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
