Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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