Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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