yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Randomize
