Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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