Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize