Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
