Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
