just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
