on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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