Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
