separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
