its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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