he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
