My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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