Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We got so high we made milksteak
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
