he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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