I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
