I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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