I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
