Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
