im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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