Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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