I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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