Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just forgot I was standing up.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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