You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
